Where there is a will, there is a way: Overcoming a crisis of confidence to come full circle and return to creating the art I love - Artist, Amy Spittle

Amy Spittle is an artist who uses a combination of archival inks and digital media to create her own brand of art – simple works that express texture and soul. Art has been a lifelong passion for Amy, who describes herself as a self-taught artist, having studied Art as far as A-level before going on to study English Literature at University. Amy is a married with a young daughter.

“…It has been almost ten years since my Art A-level, and now married with a two year old daughter, I crept back to drawing – tentatively, but testing myself and seeing if I still could. My husband was shocked, he never knew I could draw. I suppose I had forgotten too…”

Art: Always a pleasure, never a chore

I can’t ever remember not loving art. There is a significant age gap between myself and my brother, so growing up as a pseudo only-child whilst he was going through his teenage years, which left me surrounded by paper and pencils. I always felt content drawing – and that was coupled with a desire to please. Whenever my drawings were complemented I remember feeling overwhelmingly happy. That feeling pushed me to work harder at it, and it never felt like a chore.

That continued through my education until I completed my A-levels and was left with absolutely no idea how to proceed. Although I passed Fine Art with “flying colours”, my teachers told me to broaden my horizons – I balked, and chose to study English Literature as I loved to read.

Confidence crisis

I never believed art was a career choice and I thought I would be wasting three years on a road to nowhere pursuing it. I suffered a confidence crisis, not having much faith in my work – I neglected to realise that I only really loved reading Stephen King and Jilly Cooper novels.

That confidence crisis in my abilities deepened over the course of my degree, and I left the ex-polytechnic with a low scoring 2.2, a rudimentary understanding of the classics and little to no confidence in my creative abilities. I distinctly remember writing a 10,000 word dissertation on “Machiavellianism in Jacobean and Elizabethan Drama”. I slaved for months, and was summarily dismissed as I “could never reinvent the wheel”.

Thrived in an artistic environment, but couldn’t translate that directly to a paying job

I never had a dream career. It was never to be a vet, or a teacher, or a policewoman. I only thrived in an artistic environment, and couldn’t translate that directly to a paying job. I waitressed, took on barmaid work (incidentally at the pub where I later met my husband when he became their barman after I had left), worked in retail (first time around), got a break as a dresser for a London based events company and revelled in the adventure and glamour of it all.

Being paid to make places beautiful – what a dream. But recession brought cuts to the luxury event market, and so I ended up back at home with experience in a niche, oversubscribed sector. I managed to grab a temporary events position in a marketing department for an exam board, but when it came to interviewing for the position full-time I lost it.

I was in a boardroom presenting to three managers and they decimated my presentation – and rightly so. I could make things pretty, and I could work a room, but I sure didn’t have the skill set to run the department at a tender 22. I sat on the pavement outside afterwards and mentally packed up my office drawer.

A knack for sales – a new career ladder?

Back to retail – I figured I couldn’t possibly get that wrong. I worked for the renowned Estée Lauder and found my feet. I picked up a knack for sales, and felt like I could possibly creep up this ladder. Hey – it meant working shifts, and weekends, but it was safe. I liked it, I made good friends. Then I fell pregnant with Julia.

It was a blessing in disguise, but something I was entirely unprepared for. I left another career path less than two years in, albeit with a golden handshake to return if the going got tough. It is a testament to how much I loved that job that I sold my brand’s products to my two midwives whilst I was in labour. They visited my store after their shift finished and informed my old team that one of their girls had given birth to a baby girl weighing in at 8.6lb.

Crept back into drawing

Throughout this journey I dabbled occasionally with large scale abstract paintings, but starved of inspiration they never went anywhere. I filed them under “affordable hobby”.

It has been almost ten years since my Art A-level, and now married with a two year old daughter, I crept back to drawing – tentatively, but testing myself and seeing if I still could. My husband was shocked, he never knew I could draw. I suppose I had forgotten too.

Taking to pen work – a freak but beautiful accident

I took to pen work as a freak accident, but a beautiful accident. I love being able to capture texture in way that’s so different to pencil. I start with a few pencil lines to ensure my perspective is on point, then it’s a matter of hundreds, maybe even thousands of lines to capture the subject. Line size, shape, direction and tone is all key to capturing the subject honestly.

With digital portraits, all my efforts go into capturing the character of the subject. Working digitally allows me to hark back to those abstract paintings affordably and tidily! With a two year old in the house, and no studio to work from, the danger of a paint explosion is always near.

Inspiration has come full circle

My inspiration has come full circle. Growing up surrounded by animals and often preferring their company to people, drawing them has always been something I enjoy.

My family commissioned three portraits of our family pets from a Leicestershire based artist, the late Jill York, and I was ever awed by her work. There was definitely an ambition to draw animals borne from those visits – in a new way. I suppose I did broaden my horizons after all. I keep a notebook handy at all times to capture all the little ideas that crop up out of nowhere.

To have paying customers is more than I ever hoped for

My work now sells and is commissioned much like Jill’s. To have paying customers is more than I ever hoped for – and I love every minute of this long and wavering journey. I have plans to produce products featuring my designs. The research has been extensive and so far, fruitful.

Working with no capital investment – where there is a will there is a way

I would especially love to combine my art with textiles. Affordability is key here, as I am working with no investment capital – but that doesn’t worry me. Where there is a will, there is a way.

I also sell through Etsy and am proud to say my work will be exhibited in a local gallery this summer. I hope to join the ranks of other artists with trade stands and craft fairs this year. My goal is to eventually exhibit at Crufts.

Remembering I am a mother first and an artist second

Meanwhile, I remember that I am a mother first and an artist second. I am thankful every day that I get to do something that I love, and be with my daughter as much as I am. I have however, lost work to the occasional scribble. I now work mostly when she has been put to bed, to avoid any more “accidents”!

She shows a lot of interest in drawing, but not getting messy… Whether or not she will take to it I don’t know. Whilst she is the image of her father, I quietly hope she will show signs of my left-handedness, and we can take it from there!